Kandy - The Backstory of a Dominatrix

Kandy has never shared her entire backstory before with anyone, and we are honored that she chose us as her safe space.  We love her!

The conversation is raw and emotionally honest, with co-hosts Irene and Kat providing supportive, judgment-free space. It ends on an uplifting note about her current happiness and self-worth.

Overall, it's a powerful story of survival, sexual agency, and transformation—from surviving abuse and addiction to thriving as a confident, successful MILF dominatrix who owns her story unapologetically.  

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:01

Welcome to the Vixen Chronicles erotic explorations and unapologetic talk. Tonight's episode should be fairly interesting because our friend, the Mistress Candy Rain, is going to join us tonight. And if you remember, she is an online dominatrix as well as she caters to people with smoking fetishes. And she's very successful at what she does, and we're very proud of her. But we're going to get the backstory. Like, how did you get here, Candy? Let's talk about that. This is your content warning. This show is about sex, every kind and flavor of sex. And if you think any topic is not your thing, please don't listen to it. If you're under 18, you better stop listening right now, or I'm calling your mom. And my lawyer makes me say all of that. This is a reminder to submit feedback, questions, and any story ideas to info at thevixenchronicles.com. And it's a VXN. And please follow and listen on iHeart, Spotify, and Apple podcasts. And if you follow us, it will notify you when we publish new episodes. Hello, Vixenhood. Welcome back and thank you for listening. I'm here tonight with my amazingly funny, smart, sexy co-host Kat. Say hello. Hi. And also our show mascot Jolene is running around and she'll bark or come up and want me to hold her and breathe heavy in a microphone. So you may hear her at times. And then tonight we are exploring more about Mistress Candy Rain's backstory. And, you know, a lot of times we like to hear how people got to where they were. And so I did a little grok search on Candy, and I'm like, hey, we're doing this show, Miss Candy Rain. And I all basically all I said was that she was, you know, an online dominatrix that catered to smoking fetishes. And here's what Grok came back with. And this made me laugh out loud. I'm like, damn, it knows her. So it says she's a 32 32-year-old MILF creator who started in 2022 with fen dom foot content, which she says is not true. And then personally views smoking as artistic and empowering, and has a supportive partner and has teased sharing her full fetish backstory. So there we go. Welcome, Candy. Hello. Okay. So where are we going to start with this? Let's talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Are you okay, Irene? That Curtis isn't there today? Like, are you are you well? I'm not. Actually, if Curtis was here, I would have more energy.

SPEAKER_00 2:49

That's true. But it's different. We have like a group and then we're all separated between you and him. It's weird.

SPEAKER_03 2:54

Yeah. It is weird. You're right. It is. Okay. Let's talk about your early life. Where I mean, don't give us detailed details, but like talk to us about what it was like, you know, how many brothers and sisters you had, your, you know, your home background, all of that.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Okay. Well, I grew up, like, believe it or not, I have got a good family, you know, and like my trauma I kept from them, so they didn't know. But yeah, I've got an older brother, and then I've got a younger brother and a younger sister. Okay, so you're the second one. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 3:26

Always the second one.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

Technically, I was the first. My brother was adopted, but he was adopted, I think, right after me, maybe before. I don't remember exactly that.

SPEAKER_03 3:34

Okay.

unknown 3:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

So you come from a normal family, which is cool because and and it's funny, you know, and I'll refer to Ellie a lot tonight in the show because she came on and she just laid it all out. She also came from a very normal small town family.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:48

So let's talk about the traumas and what what and we don't need to go there exactly yet. So you tell us what you want to tell us about.

SPEAKER_00 3:55

Yeah, but anyways, back to like the normal family. My mom was a nurse. My dad had a very good IT job. Like we had the money, we didn't struggle for anything. But like eventually, my mom went down a bad path, you know. So I ended up, she ended up going to prison and I lived with my dad. And my dad's my best friend. Like we get a lot of what is it, stigma in this industry that we're dadless. Like my dad is my best friend, and still to the or you hate your dad. Like, uh, what do you hate your dad for? Like, no, not at all. It's just a fetish, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 4:27

But so so what what are you allowed to share what your mom did?

SPEAKER_00 4:32

Like it was something about fraud, is all I know. You know, I don't want that's her business to tell. I don't want not my business, you know what I mean? But it was there and it was it was for a while. Like, I pretty much helped raise my sister and my brother because my dad was at work all the time, of course, you know, supporting us, and then he got her out actually, and like has bailed her out this whole time. She's doing great now, very, very well now. She's been clean and sober for forever, half my life now, probably. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 5:00

How long was she in prison? Seven years, I think. And were they still together at that time when she went to prison?

SPEAKER_00 5:06

They were never really together. Like that we live, okay. So they had a time, like they lived together and all of that stuff, and like were together, but it like wasn't very long from what I remember.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

But yeah, like they're still like, I wouldn't say best friends, but they're friends, you know what I mean? Yeah, and they're close, and it's great because like my sister isn't my dad's, and he took her in and took care of her her whole life up until recently. She found out, and like it hurt her in the beginning, but now she's like close with her actual, like, she's got other sisters in all of that that are twins, so she's gonna be the one to have twins and not me. And I'm kind of sad about it, but it's fine.

SPEAKER_03 5:45

That's funny. So she but uh again, I mean, even though the situation where they were obviously separated or whatever because of prison, whatever, but it sounds like they were both normal and treated. I mean, he sounds like a great man, quite frankly.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:01

And I'm glad she has our life back together. So talk to us about when you started dating. Like when did when did everything start to when did you start to develop to be you?

SPEAKER_00 6:13

Well, it was uh it would start probably like with the trauma when I was six. Six? Six. Oh, yes. Okay, um, like not into going too much details about what was going on at the house or whatever, but like I was asleep on the couch and like my mom was in the shower, and he just wanted to touch on me, and like it happened every night he was at the house for years, and then it finally escalated to the point where like he had fingers in me and then was opening my mouth while I was asleep and like putting his dick in there and shit. And like I was pretending I was asleep, I wasn't really asleep, you know what I mean? So, like, I remember all of this, and I was just like letting it happen. And was this a relative? It was her boyfriend. Oh, her boyfriend, yeah. Okay, and like I kept it all inside because like she was happy, she was smiling, you know what I mean? So I just didn't say anything, and like six years old, and it was literally almost every boyfriend after that for forever. And then I I was sleeping with girls since I was like 11. I started experimenting with that, you know, because the guys couldn't stay the night, like my girlfriends, my mom's not worried about my girlfriends, right? Hanging out, you know what I mean? So, like I was always curious because I was so young, you know what I mean? And it's like you can either shut down when that happens to you, and then the you like your whole quality of life is ruined. I refuse to let a man take that from me. Yeah, I agree with you, even at six years old, you know, like no.

SPEAKER_03 7:40

Did your mom catch on that any of these boyfriends were doing what they were doing? Never told her? No, no, you've never told her.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

I don't want to ruin our relationship. Like, I don't want her to either either not believe me, and then I hold that regret or whatever, not regret, but hatred towards her, or she's gonna be guilty and feel guilty and feel, you know, and I don't want her to feel any type of way. It's done and over with now, there's no point in having feelings towards it. You know what I mean? I ended up great, I don't care.

SPEAKER_03 8:13

You did so I agree, it's fine, but okay, and and look, we all know that it doesn't matter who it is, like our our sexual partners form who we are for sure. And and and quite frankly, I want to say, and I don't mean this in a bad way, but even our dads form who we are sexually, like if they're a strong influence in our lives, exactly, then they're going to they're gonna show you what you're expecting kind of thing. So let's get to your teenage years because I know you had a baby really young. Okay. Is there am I skipping through anything there that we need to talk about? I mean, no, no, no, okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:52

The the good stuff doesn't happen until later, but okay. So okay, so I lost my virginity at 14, like with a male.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

And it was so traumatic because, like, of course, I fell head over heels in love with this 28-year-old man. Oh, excuse me. Yes. How did you meet him? Right. At the skating rink. Oh my god. Well, okay, so listen, he's an he's from Indiana, so he's like an out-of-town skater. They would all come in back in the day when this was a thing, you know what I mean? They'd all come in, all these little jam skaters, and like all the girls, all the little girls loved these men. And like from the moment he walked in, like I was just eyes on him, like, not anywhere. And then he left and I got tagged in a photo. It was like a group of us, and then he got tagged. So then I went and did my crazy little stocking to find him, and I messaged him, and then he came back the next weekend. Like, I was talking all this big game and shit, and then he showed up and I was just like frozen. Did he know you were 14? I don't know. Okay, probably. I looked young as fuck. I'm pretty sure I had braces at that point. I mean, you still look young as fuck. So well, thank you. But yeah, and then I got so scared and nervous, and I'm used to just, he's like, Well, we're gonna go outside and go to my car, and I'm just like, Yeah, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 10:09

Did he know you were a virgin? No, no, oh, you so you're you're just talking a lot of game and smack because exactly, exactly. So you have, I mean, because you have some sexual experience from six to fourteen.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:22

Okay, so you guys go to his car, a 28-year-old man having sex in a car.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

Yes. And I had my friend keep the lookout, like she was being the lookout because we were literally parked right out front of the door, you know what I mean? So, yeah, and she was a virgin. No, she had just lost her virginity the night before. Okay. And I was her lookout at the house. It was this was my childhood, okay? So, like I said, you can either shut down with the sex or embrace it, and that's what I did. So, like I knew what it was like to have it touched very early, so that sensation came and never left. You know what I mean? Yeah, I get it.

SPEAKER_03 10:55

So you have sex with him. He's a 28-year-old guy. Do you have a relationship with him at that point or not?

SPEAKER_00 11:02

I wouldn't say a relationship, but it continued. The sex continued literally up until I met my husband. Now we go, I would go there, he would come here.

SPEAKER_03 11:13

Yeah. So it's continued all these years, like off and on. Is he the father of one of your children? No, he's not. No. That's wild.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Yeah. He didn't have a kid until way later, which is weird to me. Because back to that story, like he was literally fucking all of us. Yeah. And none of us knew. Because he was 28 and you were all 14. Yeah. So none of none of us knew. And then, like, again, I fell way in love with this guy. Like, it was actually crazy.

SPEAKER_03 11:43

It's crazy. I mean, you were 14.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

I mean, it says everything if I were still sleeping with him all these years later. You know what I mean? Right.

unknown 11:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:50

Did he did you guys ever talk about getting together?

SPEAKER_00 11:53

Like once you were 18, kind of we did, but like he was wild, didn't have no kids, you know. Like, he didn't drink or do anything like that. But it was just like he was still a fuckboy. Ink, you know, at that age is crazy to me. But yeah. What kind of career did he have? Do you know? I don't know, but he had a good job. He had a good job. He just had like the nice cars and he could skate, and that was my thing. Yeah, he was. He was so tan and tall and beautiful. Uh, but yeah, and then like he had motorcycles, which got me into motorcycles to begin with there. And it was just like he had it everything, I thought. You know what I mean? Right. What? And then coming to find out, like, he's giving girls diseases, and I'm just like, okay. Oh no. Yeah, it was it was terrible. Did you ever confront him about all of that? No. No. That I was scared of men at that point. You know what I mean? Interesting. I still haven't recognized.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

Yeah. How did you find out about the diseases? Because your friends got them and oh no. I had to go to the doctor.

SPEAKER_00 12:54

Because I was like, something's weird, something's going on. And like, okay. Yeah. So then, anyways, I forget what it was, but I got rid of it, thank God. Yeah. And like, I didn't have sex for two years after that. And then the next time I got pregnant. The second time I had sex, I got pregnant. So I was like, I'm fucking done with this shit. This is crazy.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

This is not what I signed up for. You said the first time was so traumatic, but it wasn't because you got an STD.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

Yes, because he's fucking all these girls. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 13:23

So I was just like double checking.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

I said, Well, men are gross, and then now I have a baby. Yeah. So tell us about your second guy. Yes. And you got pregnant the second time you had sex. I actually married this guy. Yes. Yes, I did.

SPEAKER_03 13:35

This is crazy. How old were you at this point? 16. Okay. Wow. Okay, that's young.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

But why how old were you when you guys got married? 18. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. He was still older than me as well. How how old was he?

SPEAKER_03 13:52

I probably think. I mean, aren't these guys afraid that they're going to get charged with it?

SPEAKER_00 13:59

I guess not. Because like I would looked like a kid at 14. Girls, now you can't tell.

SPEAKER_03 14:04

Right.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

You know what I mean? So I definitely didn't look grown, I'll tell you that.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

Yeah. So how'd you meet him? The second guy. How did I meet him?

SPEAKER_00 14:14

I don't know. I don't remember. I think it was a mutual friend because he went, no, he was skating too.

SPEAKER_03 14:20

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_03 14:21

I'm going to tell all of our listeners keep your girls out of skating park skating rinks. Most of them are closed now.

SPEAKER_00 14:27

So thank God. But yeah, and it was just like, I don't know. It was just my thing then. And then it broke my heart in the beginning because like I was so messed up over the other guy. This guy who has a girlfriend is like consoling me and all of that stuff. And I didn't know any better. Right, of course not. That's complete manipulation. Yeah. At that point. And then like he did kiss me that first night, but that was it. And then a few months later, they ended up breaking up. And then he came to me, and then I was pregnant. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:59

And how long were you married?

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Oh my god. Four years maybe. And it was not great.

SPEAKER_03 15:06

It was not great.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

Okay.

unknown 15:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

Like I was.

SPEAKER_03 15:08

Did you guys live together once you had the baby and stuff, or before you had the baby?

SPEAKER_00 15:12

Yeah. Well, when we when I turned 18, I moved out on my birthday. And we went to live with our friends. And then it was, I wasn't, you know, didn't know I was pregnant here. So then we fucking oh wait, yes, I did. Yes, I did. Okay, wait. If you had there's another pregnancy in this moment, okay, okay. So we got we moved into these friends' house and like they were partying all the time. So this is when I started drinking, is when we were partying all the time, and the friends were over and we were playing beer pong and all of that fun stuff. And then one night I got so super sick, I fell asleep on the toilet in the bathroom and all that. And I come out the next morning, and like he's naked in some bed with a girl, and I'm just like men are so fucking gross, is what I thought at this point. Were you pregnant at that time? I was, but I didn't know. And then I didn't get the sick. I didn't get sick because I overdrank. I got sick because I was pregnant with alcohol, I'm assuming. Yeah. And I feel terrible now because I would never do that.

SPEAKER_03 16:11

Well, of course, but you don't know. I mean, we've all done that. Yeah. I didn't know I was pregnant for like five months, and then I was drinking.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

So we broke up that night, that morning, actually. And then a few weeks later, I find out I'm pregnant. And he's from the moment I told him I was pregnant until years after she was born, he denied my daughter because she had a tint of red in her hair. And we just had a threesome scroll back. We just had a threesome with his friend that night.

SPEAKER_03 16:37

Oh my God. Yeah. So he didn't, he didn't know. Wait, and you were 16 when you had the threesome? Mm-hmm. I'm gonna need a moment here. My my three is wild. Kat, what cat? This is gonna go back to where you and I think we were really wild and we weren't at all.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

Yeah. Yeah. Tell it to my mom. We had no shit.

SPEAKER_03 17:01

Okay, you were wild. I was not wild.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

I can see her being wild.

SPEAKER_03 17:06

Okay, so you're 16. You have sex with him, and then somewhere within the next month or two, you have sex with you have a threesome. Okay. What was that like at 16? How does that come about? With two guys? Yeah, with two guys.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 17:23

And that's why he denied it wasn't his kid.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

Yes. Okay. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 17:27

Did that guy have red hair?

SPEAKER_00 17:28

No, I mean, yeah. Okay, well. Well, I did get I we did get DNA, which I wish I never would have done. Because then he's like, that's my kid all of a sudden, you know, and like fought me in over custody and all types of shit. Right.

SPEAKER_03 17:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

It was a slap in the face, like, okay, here you go, bitch. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 17:45

At 16, how does he bring up a threesome for the for you guys to have sex?

SPEAKER_00 17:51

Okay, so it's weird. He accused me of to being too flirty with this guy and like being too whatever. And he's like, Well, this is what you want. Here you go. Like, it wasn't my option. Oh. Basically. You know what I mean? Like, I wasn't gonna say no, but like he was just like almost made me want to made me do it in a way. Interesting.

SPEAKER_03 18:10

Well, yeah, because again, at 16, you're still a child. Yeah. You know, so he's manipulating. My guess is they had some kind of conversation, like, hey, we should both do her.

SPEAKER_00 18:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:19

And he's like, Yeah, I don't care about her. Let's do it. I mean, you know that's how guys talk. It's locker room talk. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. So, what'd you do in your threesome at 16?

SPEAKER_00 18:28

I mean, the normal stuff.

SPEAKER_03 18:29

I want to hear it all. Did you do anal?

SPEAKER_00 18:31

I did. Yes. What? At 16, weren't you traumatized? I was very traumatized. And it took me years to do it again. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 18:39

Because I was just like So they were DP in you.

SPEAKER_00 18:41

Yes. Basically. From my last whatever episode we did then, I talked like I'm built funny in there. Like I'm tiny inside. So I can't have two things in at once. So it was extremely painful.

SPEAKER_04 18:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

For me. And like they didn't care because they were drinking. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 18:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

And which is whatever, it's fine. But it was just like heartbreaking. That was the end of their friendship that night, too. Oh.

SPEAKER_05 19:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

Because he got jealous. We all, yes. I was too loud with the other guy and not loud enough for him. Oh, okay. We we slept in the same bed, all three of us, and we woke up and him and I were snuggled, and I didn't wasn't touching him. And it was just like he was super jealous.

SPEAKER_03 19:20

Sounds like he's super into it.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

Like was following us to work because we worked together. Oh. Was following us to work, and it was I attract toxic. Clearly.

SPEAKER_03 19:30

Well, actually, I don't think you do. I think not anymore. I think I think that these guys look when you're four, first of all, when you've been abused from the time you're sex, you're putting out sexual energy. I mean, it's you know, at d as you mature, you're going to, it's just natural.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:48

So they were picking up on that and they were taking advantage of you. Yeah. And I believe that with everything in my heart. So I don't think that I mean, yeah, you might have been flirting, but that's again how you were shown affection. Right. So, okay, so you have your first threesome at 16. When okay, so after that, though, you got pregnant. Do you know how long, or before that you might have already been pregnant?

SPEAKER_00 20:13

You don't know. I'm pretty sure it was before that. Oh, okay. Like not much before that, but a little bit before that. You know what I mean? Because but the dates just didn't add up to that night. It was a good month later. Okay. Gotcha. So, you know, based on due date and all that stuff, it there's no way.

SPEAKER_03 20:28

Okay. So that's why you were so sure it was your the guy. That's why with the DNA, I went and slapped it down like Okay. Fuck you. Okay. So what happens? So, wait, you and him broke up at that point, but you're pregnant with his kid, so you tell him, and then what happens?

SPEAKER_00 20:47

Okay, so I go and get a different job, you know what I mean? And that's where I meet my next husband.

unknown 20:54

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 20:55

So he did my interview, and I was pregnant. Don't you know you don't shit where you eat? No shit. No. Nobody taught her that, I guess. Man, I mean, that's where I spend all my time. I get to know these people. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, and he did my interview, and I was like instantly flirty with him. Like he kicked my foot on accident, and I said some dumbass comment about playing FTSE with me and Oh my God. At my interview. So I got the job. I just say you're 16 though at this point still. Yes. Okay. I got the job and I got promoted within a week. Because you slept with him already or not? No, we were just vibing at that point. But this ended up being my new husband. And he raised my daughter, which I appreciate very much. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:41

I need to go back to the second guy. So you tell him you're you broke up, you tell him you're pregnant. And then does he is he in her life at all at that point? Even though you did a DNA test when she was born? He didn't see her till she was six. Oh. And then how does that work? Like, how do you introduce someone At six. Do you just say Oh, we'll get there.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

That's oh, okay. Well, you tell me when we Yeah, there's a big long story to that.

SPEAKER_03 22:07

Okay, cool. We'll come back to that then. Yeah. Okay. So you get hired at this other job, he's your manager, you get promoted within a week, and then tell us how that transpires. You're still working for him.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 22:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:21

Yeah. We so just if we fast forward a little bit, it was a year, I think, before we like fully committed and I moved in. Okay. And then we couldn't keep, you know, the touchy filly. Like you guys know me. I'm not a very affectionate person. You know what I mean? So like we couldn't keep our hands off each other at work, and someone told on us. So it was either I Heath has to fire me or he quit and he chose to quit. What? So I got his job.

SPEAKER_03 22:48

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:50

But okay, so I'm just trying to think through this. I I know there's a question. With the third guy, though. How old were you? So you were 16 when you moved in with him or 17? 18.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

18. Oh, you were 18. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, my bad. Because I was already married the first time. Wait. With the second guy? Wait, you married him? Yes. Oh, I didn't know that. I've been married and divorced twice.

SPEAKER_03 23:16

Okay. So on number two, who is also a baby daddy. Yes. For your number one child, correct? For two. Oh, for two. The first two. Okay. Okay. But I thought I thought you guys broke up after the threesome. We did break up.

SPEAKER_00 23:36

We just weren't we were still fucking. Oh, got it. Okay. Yeah. Because I just I'm I'm terrible.

SPEAKER_03 23:43

I'm just no, it's okay. I'm just trying to keep it all straight. So you were still fucking number two when you were flirting and sleeping with number three. How did you get married and divorced that fast?

SPEAKER_00 23:57

I didn't get divorced till later after when we got married years down the road. Like I had just got divorced, then we immediately got married when it was final.

SPEAKER_03 24:04

Oh, but with number two, it took you a while to get divorced, or oh, it did. Yeah. Okay. Well, we just didn't care to find priority.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

We were young while I was young.

SPEAKER_03 24:15

Yeah. You were young. Third guy. How old was he? 43 when we met, I think. Oh my God. Cat. You have to save me here. Okay, I'm telling you. I mean, these men are all fucking pedophiles. That's what they are. Yeah. I'm gonna need their names and addresses. Actually, I only need their names. That's all I need. That's fair. That's right. I'm I would love to be a pedophile killer. And I'm being dead fucking serious about that. I mean, these men are all pedophiles. Like us as women, though, would be the best at it because they never inspect it. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, I'd put Kat on that in a heartbeat. Oh, she's so innocent. Well, no, she does not. But she's super smart and super sly. She'd be like a female dexter. She would be.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

Oh, for sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:04

She would, there would be no DNA left of us.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

I won't touch raw chicken, but I'll hide a dead body.

SPEAKER_03 25:10

Raw chicken is gross, though, and you're in my ears. It is gross. You're right. Yeah. Okay. This guy's in his 40s. I just need to make sure I'm getting this straight. Yeah. You have two babies with number two. Now, does the 40-year-old know that you're pregnant with the second baby at this point?

SPEAKER_00 25:26

I told him on my interview I was pregnant. Because I wanted to be open and honest about it. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 25:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:32

And I guess he's thinking, well, she can't get pregnant. Probably. Probably. Holy shit. I'm just trying to work through this with my mind because as your parent, I can assure you I would have fucking killed somebody.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

Yeah. It was, I didn't even tell you. So when I got pregnant the very first time, young, I was so scared of my dad. Granted, he's my best friend and is so nice, but he's he's got a temper. Yeah. So I wrote him a note and I ran away for seven days until he said it was okay to come back nicely and calmly. You know what I mean? But oh my God. So I was stayed at home for those two years and then I moved out. And then my mom, God love her, knew like he was overage or whatever. So like she either told me she gets an abortion or she's not gonna talk to me. And I said, I don't want to talk to you then. Oh my god. I don't care what age I am, I'm not killing a child.

SPEAKER_03 26:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:27

For anybody.

SPEAKER_03 26:28

Look, I'm not judging anybody that that has made that choice. That's just not for me. Right. That's your that's your personal opinion, but I'm not judging. Okay, so you have two guys with number two. You've lit you're living now with number three. Now, did you have you already had your first baby, right? Yeah, yeah. And then number two number three, you you're pregnant with your second baby. Yes. Right? Okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

With the first guy.

SPEAKER_03 26:53

With it's confusing. With the second guy. The first guy was a very good thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. The second guy. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. The the first marriage.

SPEAKER_00 26:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:00

Okay. So tell us how that transpired with a 47-year-old man. Like, how long were you married?

SPEAKER_00 27:05

It was actually good. I was probably with him the longest. Okay. Yeah, because like again, I was with him literally until I met Curtis. So it was a long time. It was very, very toxic, but it wasn't always. It was great in the beginning, you know, like all relationships are. And like he raised my daughter and claimed her, and like still to this day.

SPEAKER_03 27:25

I mean, that seems like 14 years or so, 15. I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_00 27:29

We're forever. I met Curtis seven years ago. So she was born in 2012. So that's kind of a timeline. It was a long time. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 27:40

I mean, it was off and on for a while, but and I didn't realize you and Curtis had been together for seven years. Yeah. Wow. I know it's crazy. It is crazy. Okay. But this whole time that you're with the second marriage guy, you're fucking number one, the skater guy. The first few months. Oh, okay. Oh, yes. Yeah, the first guy. Yes, I was. Okay. Just listen, I'm just trying to keep the story straight.

SPEAKER_00 28:03

In the beginning, we cut it off. It really did. I really didn't start even talking to him again until shit got toxic and abusive.

SPEAKER_03 28:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:10

You know, because he was an alcoholic. You know, he had a blowy thing in his car. And it was just Wait, the the second marriage guy, the 40-year-old?

SPEAKER_03 28:19

Okay. Okay. And what did he go on to do for his career? We don't need names, obviously.

SPEAKER_00 28:24

He's his chef. And then now he, I don't know what he does now, but when he moved out of state, he was selling furniture.

SPEAKER_03 28:31

Oh, okay. So when he quit his job that you became a his or you became you took his job as a manager, then he just went and did what? Worked at a r restaurant or what?

SPEAKER_00 28:44

Yeah, he well, he was unemployed for a while. We couldn't find a job. And then he got a good job offer in Florida. So we had actually moved to Florida.

SPEAKER_02 28:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

And that lasted probably a year and a half. And then he got a good job here. So we came back up here. And this is all in the restaurant business. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So then he came back up here and then it got really, really, really toxic here.

SPEAKER_03 29:07

So you're what, three or four years into the relationship and it starts to get toxic. Yeah. So what happens?

SPEAKER_00 29:13

It was always like emotionally abusive because I was like treated like a child. Well, you were. You know what I mean? After so long, yeah, into the marriage, like I couldn't work. I couldn't go, you know, I couldn't go anywhere. I had to be a stay-at-home mom.

SPEAKER_03 29:28

And so he was controlling too. Yes. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:31

And was calling me names and like would always like he loves my daughter to death and he took care of her. We never treated her different, but it would always throw in my face like I've got multiple baby daddies, blah, blah, blah, whatever. And oh, I had a baby with him at this point. Oh, you did? Yeah. Okay. A year after she was born. Okay. Yeah. I'm very fertile.

SPEAKER_03 29:52

Wait a minute. So they're only like 13 months apart. I did that, by the way. I highly recommend it if you have a lot of help.

SPEAKER_00 30:01

Yeah. I mean, they're they are they were super, super close, like as friends, too. So I would I would honestly recommend it. I really beautiful. I do because my two are really it is beautiful. But yeah, so I had the baby with him.

SPEAKER_03 30:16

And this is your third baby now.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 30:19

Okay. And then it gets super toxic. You're back up here, you know, in Ohio.

SPEAKER_00 30:24

Yeah, we're back up here.

SPEAKER_03 30:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

He loses this job. We lose the house. We ended up moving in with my dad.

SPEAKER_02 30:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

With my dad and brother and grandma at this point. She was still alive. Okay. So it was all of us living there. And then, like, again, nobody's seen the toxic because it was like in bed, like when we're going to bed, or he's texting me or calling me or whatever, tracking my location, which I don't mind because that's a safety thing. Yeah. You know what I mean? But like to an extent. Yeah. And that's when I like started talking to other men because they weren't giving me, he wasn't fucking me, he wasn't nothing. You know, it was just abusive, or I'm doing this, or what I didn't do that day, not noticing what I did. Like, fuck you. First of all, I don't have to cook and clean for you. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 31:07

So at this point, he's so abusive that he's not even wanting to have sex with you. That's pretty fucked up.

SPEAKER_00 31:13

You know, for me, that's weird.

SPEAKER_03 31:14

Yeah. Well, because I feel like you, Kat and I are all sexual people. Yeah. Like we need it.

SPEAKER_00 31:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:20

Well, Kat, we're gonna get her hormones taken care of. But she has always needed it in the past.

SPEAKER_01 31:24

Oh I need touched.

SPEAKER_03 31:26

You do need touched. And for the record, I track Kat too. So see, it's a it's just I've never ever done that with anybody before, but every once in a while, I'm like, it's so funny. I look at it and I'll be like, oh, she's at home, or oh, she must be at the soccer field. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:43

I don't like I don't have anything to hide. If my location's off, then my friends immediately text me and I'm like, you guys really look at it that often because I'm like, where are you at?

SPEAKER_03 31:52

Or they'll be like, yeah, it tells me. That's the thing. It tells it.

SPEAKER_00 31:56

Yeah, it tells me where you are. It says uh left home, click to follow along. Like, okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:01

Well, oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, mine doesn't at all. Yeah, mine doesn't go that far. Mine just says, like when we're talking or we're texting, it tells me where you are, like, especially texting, it tells me where you are.

SPEAKER_00 32:13

Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_03 32:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:15

Okay. Yeah. Cause my friends all get texted and be like, Why are you at TJ Maxx? What are you doing? Stop spending money. Stop spending money. Fuck off. This is why my thing's off.

SPEAKER_03 32:25

Yeah. I think I've only ever shared my location with one person, and it was my youngest son, and he insists on it just because he thinks I live such a dangerous life as I'm in bed every night by eight.

SPEAKER_01 32:37

Um, yeah. I like it to see, you know, like even with my boyfriend, he used to share it. Now he's like, You're crazy, do not. But like I used to before I'd call him or something, I'd check him like, okay, is he still at the office? Is he home? Is he at the gym? Like, I just don't like calling people and feeling like I'm yeah. I'd I'd be like, All right, I'll call him later, or he'll call me when he's done. And that's fair.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

When you're in a serious relationship, I get it, you know. Okay, so so he's so this is so toxic at this point that he's not having sex with you. He's probably having sex with someone else at that point.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 33:10

Because men don't change in that regard unless there's a you know, unless there's a health issue or something.

SPEAKER_00 33:15

Exactly. So like you can't go from fucking all the time to just not.

SPEAKER_04 33:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

You know, I've been there, I've done this, I know what that sign means. You know what I mean? Did you talk to him about it? I tried. I tried. He would tell you you were crazy. He would tell you you were crazy. Exactly. That's a typical he's like, Well, you're cheating on me because only guilty people say that. And I'm like, Nope. Only guilty people get that fucking defensive over something you're not doing.

SPEAKER_02 33:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:39

Like, why are you working all the fucking time? You know what I mean? I'm working later, I'm working later, I'm working late. Fuck if you are right. You know what I mean? Did you have a car where you could validate it or not? No, I wasn't allowed to do anything. You know, I couldn't work. I couldn't how long were you with this guy? For fucking ever, forever. But like it was a financial thing. I couldn't work, I needed him.

SPEAKER_03 34:00

Yeah, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 34:01

Like, how am I gonna provide for my kids?

SPEAKER_03 34:03

You know, did you guys do anything socially together? I mean, did you go really? You didn't go visit his friends or his family or anything like that?

SPEAKER_00 34:13

Nope. Nope. We didn't do like we did like normal holidays and stuff together, but like you could just tell it was just like not okay. Like you can tell, you can look at a couple in the room, same room as you, and know something's fucked up. Oh, yeah. And that's how it was. So he didn't want to be around anybody, you know what I mean? And he was working all the time. He'd get home at fucking at midnight, 11 o'clock at night, and then be up leaving at seven. Wow. So, like literally all day. So it got to the point I was back seeing ex-husband. Okay, you know what I mean? And we fucking started hooking up. At first, I was just going over there to vent and talk and be like, what the hell? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 34:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:48

Because he, the first husband, just played video games all day long. Like my son would be in the same fucking diaper when I get off work, working two jobs and in the same fucking diaper. And I was just like, I cannot do this. Like, don't don't do that. Yeah, you know what I mean? And still to this day, it's what he does. It's great. But so, anyways, fast forward, I stopped get that wasn't doing it for me anymore. You know, it never really did. It wasn't, it was so bad. It was so bad. But but we go back to the devil we know. We do, yeah, it's a comfort. Exactly. Exactly. And because he was the first one to like really want to be in a relationship, you know what I mean? Right. So then I started, you know, sleeping with married men because I knew they wouldn't fucking get attached. I can they can give me what I want, they we want the same thing. And it was just like, I liked this one. Then I fucking fell in love with this guy, and he was fucking all of us at the bar. And I'm just like, I'm so done with men. I'm so done with men. And how old are you at this point? 21, because I could drink. You're finally legal, yeah. Finally, and all of this has happened. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 35:54

I mean, you by 21, you've lived four people's, five people's lives, yeah, for sure. Yeah, that's wild. And at 21, you have three children? Yes. Okay. Yes. Okay. Okay. So how does that relationship with the third guy, how does that end up transpiring, ending whatever?

SPEAKER_00 36:16

It just stays like that for years, you know. Like he don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what he's doing because I'm only out, you know, when he's at work, and then I come home and have dinner done by the time he gets home.

SPEAKER_03 36:27

Did he like he didn't really well? Did he know you were sleeping with other married guys? No. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:33

He didn't know anything. At least I didn't know, and I'm sure I would have known because he get likes to get drunk and fucking throw things at me and stuff like that. So no.

SPEAKER_03 36:42

So was he physically abusive, not just mentally? After a few years, yeah. Oh, so it it progressed.

SPEAKER_00 36:48

Yes. Okay. And again, that shows me like you have a connection with somebody else because you're treating me more and more and more like shit. Yeah. Like if you want to leave, fucking leave. We're staying at my dad's house. Yeah. Definitely.

SPEAKER_03 36:59

Did you ever say that?

SPEAKER_00 37:01

Yes, numerous times. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 37:03

I was just like, I mean, you were so young, I wasn't sure if you knew to say that.

SPEAKER_00 37:06

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Like you can go. You don't need to be here, you know. And at that time, I inside I did need him. You know, I thought I needed him. And eventually, like, we broke up, and I just was doing my own thing for a while. And then I got back with him. He moved in. I got my own place. He moved in with me because we were gonna work things out again.

SPEAKER_04 37:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:29

So we tried that and everything was different because we were like in our own space.

SPEAKER_03 37:33

Yeah, that's you know, that's a you're right. That's it's different. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:37

So he got more like less abusive, I guess I should say. And I was just drinking more and more and more and going out, and I was in nursing school, so I was going out every week and to celebrate, you know, like he'd have the kids, believe it or not. And so I was going out and we celebrated our like we just passed this big test at school. You know, I had six months left till I had my RN. Wow. Like six, no, six weeks. Six weeks. And so I go out this one night, and it gets really, really, really, really bad. I ended up doing coke that night, and then it was like amazing. Like I felt so much upper and so much this, and that we ran out of that, and then I started. They're like, Oh, well, I have this this other stuff, I don't know what it is, but I'm like, okay, whatever. So I snorted it and it was meth, and then that's where that addiction like just took the fuck off.

SPEAKER_03 38:33

And I didn't know you had any of those addictions. So let's let's walk through that.

SPEAKER_00 38:37

Only those two, though.

SPEAKER_03 38:38

Only those two. Yeah. But aren't those kind of similar?

SPEAKER_00 38:41

I think they are, but like one lasts way longer. Is it the meth that lasts way longer?

SPEAKER_03 38:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:47

Yeah, and so I is one cheaper? Like, is meth cheap? I got it for free, so I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 38:53

Is meth like let break this down for me. Can it be snorted, smoked, shot up, like all of the above? Yes.

unknown 39:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 39:03

And it's definitely an upper like cocaine.

SPEAKER_01 39:05

Yeah, it's a isn't it like methamphetamine, like adderall? I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 39:09

It it it is.

SPEAKER_01 39:11

Okay, just faking it.

SPEAKER_00 39:12

I don't know anything about it. Google, Google that for us.

SPEAKER_01 39:15

I take it every day.

SPEAKER_03 39:16

I know you do. But you're prescribed it, so yeah. Okay, so you so that night after the big nursing test or whatever, yeah. You try Coke and meth in the same night? Yes. Girl.

SPEAKER_00 39:30

Okay, wait a minute. I'm missing a very important part of this.

SPEAKER_03 39:33

Okay, that's back at it.

SPEAKER_00 39:34

So before the drugs at the bar with the girls for a school, and then like all of this drama had gone down at my house because my sister, she was watching my kids because I forgot he wasn't there, he was working late. So my sister was watching the kids, and she's like, Hey, you know, calls me. Can I have a friend over? I'm like, Yeah, sure, whatever. Well, I'm getting ready, and these two little young girls are on my bed and taking videos like they do on their phones, and I'm changing clothes in the background, and they got me in a video. Oh. Then while I'm after I'm gone, another girl comes over and brings a bunch of adult men to my underage, you know, sister's little friends. And these guys brought coke and alcohol. So, and you know, girls how old was she at the time? 16. Okay. So I was a bad influence, obviously. But no, yeah, but you knew. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So I didn't know all of that. My sister freaked out. Like she was a good girl, she freaked out, but like was still going along with it. We were very much the same. We were kind of just down for whatever everybody else says. So, and then a few days later, after this so-called party comes over, my mom's calling me pissed. So I come over and I'm like, What the fuck? And the fucking cops are there with the other girl's mom and the other girl and her mom. So when I'm like, What the fuck? Oh my god. So what I don't know what's going on, or whatever. They wanted my phone. The police wanted my phone and my sister's phone for video evidence. I did, they won't tell me anything. So then come to find out a few days later on Friday, they call me and say that you know they've issued a warrant for my arrest for contributing drugs to minors. So, and I'm like, okay, we're not even there, but that's okay. I'm not turning myself in on a Friday, so I went and I didn't go. I was like, no, like I'm in nursing school, I have a good job, I didn't do anything. Right. They came and arrested me at the hospital Monday morning.

SPEAKER_03 41:31

You're lying.

SPEAKER_00 41:32

In front of my entire class. Let me just ask you this Did the guys get arrested? Nobody but me. Nobody but me. Because they couldn't prove, they couldn't prove that I wasn't there because I was changing clothes in the background of a photo. But my lovely public defender wouldn't check bar footage, wouldn't check anything, wouldn't check my phone, nothing.

SPEAKER_03 41:53

So wouldn't the two girls say you weren't there?

SPEAKER_00 41:55

Um they didn't. They were so scared. The girl was like had anxiety so much, she was crying about what happened. So she told her mom, and her mom told my mom. And then my sister gave my mom her phone with all the oh, all the evidence.

SPEAKER_03 42:08

Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 42:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:09

So in all of the things that they were doing that night, I'm assuming they didn't video any of the guys.

SPEAKER_00 42:15

Probably not. Yeah. Because you know it's just a girl's yeah, which again, but like they would- Did the guys have sex with them? Because they would have had to. I don't know. I was so fucking mad at my sister and my mom. We didn't talk for years after that. Like, you did not have to give that phone up when you know good and damn well I wasn't fucking home.

SPEAKER_03 42:31

Right.

SPEAKER_00 42:31

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 42:33

Yeah, but at 16, I mean, you know.

SPEAKER_00 42:36

I know, yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 42:38

Okay, so so you they come they come to the hospital and arrest you.

SPEAKER_00 42:43

Yeah, and take me to jail. And I had to do 30 days in jail, and then went to court, and I caught one felony for every minor that was at my house. Oh my god. Ruined my whole nursing career. I couldn't do anything. I ended up losing my house because I lost my job while I was in jail. I lost my car. So the day I got out of jail. Who's taking care of your kids during my mom.

SPEAKER_03 43:08

Oh, so she's pissed, but she's taking care of your kids.

SPEAKER_00 43:12

I mean, like while you're never the grandbabies, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, like, and then the night I got out of jail, I literally walked to the bar and called my friend, and that's the night I started all the drugs. Because I was like, I fucking lost everything. Yeah. Everything.

unknown 43:28

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 43:29

So I started doing that, then I ended.

SPEAKER_03 43:32

So that so you that night you know, you obvious you said, yeah, I you took a test or whatever, right? Yeah, yeah. And so you're there celebrating and you uh have already started drinking, and then you're doing meth and oh no, this is a separate day.

SPEAKER_00 43:48

Sorry, I got the two nights confused.

SPEAKER_03 43:50

Okay, yeah, that's fine. Okay. So after you've lost everything, that's the night that you decide that but you didn't even really know what meth was at the time.

SPEAKER_00 43:58

No, I didn't know that I didn't know it was different. The guy was like, I don't know what it is, but we can take it. And I was just like, okay, because they looked very similar. One was just more like hard and clear, one was more powdery. Oh, okay. But they had already chopped it down. So I didn't know. You know what I mean? I didn't know I was a baby. Yeah. So yeah. And then like that feeling, I was just hooked instantly. Really? Because it's a different feeling. Yeah. Like my brain was burning.

SPEAKER_03 44:23

Did you you didn't know which one it was, though, at the time? No. You didn't. How did so?

SPEAKER_00 44:27

How did you decide that, you know, did who did you ask and say well, the next day when we were all sober and shit, we were talking about it. He was still giving it to us like this was the norm. And come to find out it was. Like I was hanging out with a very well-known biker gang at this point. I met them the first night at the bar. So I went from nursing school student to biker club drug addict.

SPEAKER_01 44:48

Wait, so he knew where it was the whole time? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 44:51

Of course.

SPEAKER_01 44:51

You know, I had a similar story one time. Like I used to just smoke pot with my neighbor, and like, you know, she'd always have these cool little glass bowls. And one day she came over, she like called me and she was in my driveway, and she's like, Come smoke a bowl with me. So I was like, Okay, yeah. So she like I get in the car, and I was like, Oh my god, you got a new piece. Like, cool. No, it was crack. No, you did not. I swear to God. Wait, you actually know. Yeah, I had no idea. I thought it was weed.

SPEAKER_03 45:21

Wow. Oh, it tastes like that.

SPEAKER_01 45:22

Yeah, that happened like twice.

SPEAKER_03 45:24

Wait a second.

SPEAKER_01 45:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:26

Yeah. Weed is like leaves, right?

SPEAKER_01 45:29

I mean, yeah, but like I said, it was still like a glass pipe, but then it had this like Brillo pad thing, and I just thought it was like a new piece. I didn't like touch drugs and stuff like that, except for when I was with her. Like, so I didn't know. I just trusted her, and like we'd always smoke like sometimes we'd smoke out of a pop can, sometimes we'd smoke out of a bottle, a bong.

SPEAKER_03 45:47

You know, like did it make you feel any different?

SPEAKER_01 45:51

Honestly, I was literally getting ready for a middle school dance at my house. My mom and sister were trying to like dress me, and I was like, I'll be back. I'm gonna go look at the neighbors' clothes. And then I came back and I was high as balls, and I was like, I'm not going. And they're like, What? And I was like, Yeah, I don't, I don't even like I don't want to go. I don't like to dance. Like, I'm done. And I just chilled at home. I don't really remember what it felt like. I just remember being very high and yeah, wow, crazy. Okay, Candy.

SPEAKER_03 46:17

So let's go back to you. So now you're with a biker gang. Yeah, like it I'm I'm assuming that they clearly gave you drugs on purpose, you know, because that's the way they get that's the way they get a lot of women into that.

SPEAKER_00 46:29

That's me, my friend.

SPEAKER_03 46:30

Yeah. And so what happens at that point? You like your mom keeps your kids, I assume.

SPEAKER_00 46:36

Yeah, she I like I wasn't talking, she had the kids, and this is the fucked up part. Like, I literally said like I had lost everything. So I was like, fuck it. So I went on a bender for two weeks. Yeah, like I didn't call them, I didn't see them, I didn't anything. I feel terrible about all this that I'm about to tell you, but it's okay. I'm making up for it now. That's part of our story. For my sweet little daughter, she's so understanding, she's the best.

SPEAKER_02 46:55

Good.

SPEAKER_00 46:56

But yeah, so I went on this bender for two weeks. So I stayed at this guy's house, and like I never he was so mad in love with me, and like I didn't pay for anything. I didn't, he was just giving it and giving it and giving it. You know what I mean? And like it just became like instant hooked. Like, I didn't want to leave, I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating, and I got so skinny, so skinny. And then the next month or so later, my friend comes over and she's like, I met her when we were in rehab. Court ordered me to go to rehab, by the way. Wait, why? Oh, because of the rehab, so she was recovering heroin addicts, so she was shooting up. Oh god, so she shooting the meth well heroin. Yeah, well, she was shooting the heroin, but yeah, so she's I take her to the house with me, whatever, because we're like, okay, so we said fuck it, and I brought her some to work, we worked together. So, and then that's when she told me that she had already relapsed, and I'm like, oh, well, I'm new here, so help me. So we started doing it at work or whatever, and then we went to the guy's house, and I had watched her shoot eth for the first time, and I was like freaking out because I was like, What? Well, plus you have a nursing background, exactly, but like, no, it was a good freaking out because she was literally on the floor shaking, like coming in her panties and shit. And I'm like, Whoa, I don't feel that way. So I let her shoot me up that night, and it was like nothing else since then. Like it was all the same thing every 30 minutes or so, like wow, it was insane high, dude.

SPEAKER_03 48:31

And that was meth or heroin? Meth. That was meth shooting it right into your vein.

SPEAKER_00 48:36

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:37

Holy shit.

SPEAKER_00 48:38

Yeah, it was pretty intense.

SPEAKER_03 48:40

Okay, so how long did that period last? Bro, three years maybe. Wow, it was a while. And you didn't I did you see your kids off and on then?

SPEAKER_00 48:50

Nobody knew I was using because I knew, like I said, I've known how to like lie. I stay up all night and do it all night, pretend get in bed, pretend I'm sleeping, wait on everybody to leave, you know. Like I never did it around the kids. They never saw me, they never, I mean, granted, I was a little high around the kids, but like I always functioned. Yeah, I was a functioning addict. I worked a job, like nobody knew until I got super fucking skinny and like my eyes were all big and shit. But yeah. And then after all of this happened, I got with this lovely other abusive man, and he was like by far the worst. Like he tried to kill me numerous times. Back up. What happened to the biker guy? Oh, he was just a guy. We were still I thought he was in love with you. He was, but I was not. Okay, you're just using him for the drugs. Exactly. Okay, exactly. Like he started it, he invited us over. True. So and you lived with him, the biker guy? I mean, not technically, but yeah, we were there 24 hours, 44-7. You know, we go to the bar together, and then I do my thing, and then we'd leave together and go to the clubhouse for like after party, which wasn't ever an after party, it was the orgy. Of course.

SPEAKER_03 49:59

That's what that's actually what I was gonna ask you. So, like, I mean, do if you were his, did he have you just have sex with him or did they share?

SPEAKER_00 50:07

Oh no, it was a like a like a group, group thing. Yeah, it was a group thing. And like I really it's so fucked up for me to say, but with my past and being forced to have sex, no, I get it. This is where I got my I like to be watched fetish from. Okay. Because like all the other girls are not enjoying it, and I'm like, you guys look miserable, you know, and I get it's not fun, but embrace this, yeah, you know. Like, how many more times is this gonna happen? You know what I mean? And I get it, but like I have a such a different view of sexual assault than most people. Granted, it's not okay by any means, it's fucking awful and terrible. Yeah, and you have every right to shut down and be sad, but like I'm not gonna give a man that power over me. Yeah, you know, I've already given them the power over physically my body, you're not getting my internal peace. So the biker thing, how long did that last? Forever, like years.

SPEAKER_03 51:02

My whole drug use. Okay, yeah. So three years, but you met somebody else in the meantime, and who was, I mean, I don't want the name, obviously, but how old was he? 75? I honestly no, I honestly don't.

SPEAKER_00 51:15

He was he was younger. I think he was 27.

SPEAKER_03 51:18

27 younger. Yeah. Oh, at least he was age appropriate. Yeah, okay, I got it.

SPEAKER_00 51:25

But he was like from the get-go, was so abusive and possessive, and like you're mine. What made you like him?

SPEAKER_01 51:32

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 51:33

Well, your brain was fucked out.

SPEAKER_01 51:34

The obsession. It's probably the obsession, yeah. Yeah, like knowing that he wanted you so bad, like that's fair.

SPEAKER_00 51:41

I didn't even think about it like that. Yeah, like yeah, and he was like very much like mad at anybody that looked my way, kind of thing. And I was like, okay, he's protecting me. How did you meet him? I don't know. I don't remember.

SPEAKER_01 51:54

Not skating, right? No, no. That was my good dog. We're out of this.

SPEAKER_00 52:00

So he wasn't a biker. No, I think I met him at the bar. Okay. Sounds like me and hockey men.

SPEAKER_03 52:07

Right. Yeah, good point. Okay, so you met him and immediately he's in love with you. Or which is actually he's controlling you at that point.

SPEAKER_00 52:17

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 52:18

So what made you? I mean, was he attractive?

SPEAKER_00 52:21

I mean, yeah, he was he's very tall, light skinned. Okay, very, very tall. Okay. But like the sexual chemistry was just crazy from early instantly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:32

That's what that's what kept you there initially, is my guess.

SPEAKER_00 52:36

Probably.

SPEAKER_03 52:36

And then was he aware of your drug addiction?

SPEAKER_00 52:41

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:42

Did he have one too?

SPEAKER_00 52:43

Together at the bar. I know that. I don't know if that was before we started talking or what, but yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:49

Interesting. So was he an addict or not?

SPEAKER_00 52:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:52

Oh, he was.

SPEAKER_00 52:52

Yeah, he was a dealer too. Maybe that's how we met. I don't remember. It could be. I really try to block that out of my life. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 52:58

And that's that's fine. I was just I was like keeping the story as straight as I can get it in my crazy brain. Which it's not straight, anyways. So it's not, anyways, right. Okay, so you meet him, you you two are in love, but he is he abusive immediately?

SPEAKER_00 53:13

Yeah, yeah. Like the slapped physically abusive? Yes. Okay. Yeah, I got slapped in public. He drugged me by my hair at the casino to the point like security was trying to stop him and stuff. The cops were called, and we got into this fight one time, and like I'm still not saying anything back to you, really, because I'm so scared of men still at this point. And he was just like so mad over something I did or said, or I was looking at his friend or whatever. And that's what happened. We went to a house to pick up stuff for him to, you know, re-up his sash.

SPEAKER_02 53:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:53

So, and then like I was looking at this guy directly in the corner from me, because there's like desk, you know, cashier fucking thing right here, like legit all doing that right there. And then me and him are just looking at each other, you know, smiling, laughing, whatever. And he got so mad over that, drug me out of the house and put me in the car, made me drive the car. First of all, why he's screaming at me and screaming at me, and he keeps slapping, and then he's pulling the wheel slightly. And we get on the highway and we're going home. Like, he's making me go like fast. I have no control over any of this. Why isn't he driving? Do we think? Did he even have a license? He wants the power. Okay. He wanted the fucking power to make me do something. Okay. And so he's just hitting and hitting and still hitting me. And like then he started like ripping my pants and was like fingering me. Oh, why I'm trying to drive, and he's screaming and hitting me. Like, I don't know what is happening. And he's yelling about me about, oh, you want that guy so bad, so bad. He said, Turn the fuck around. So I'm turning the car around, takes me back there, and he sits in the chair, propped his little legs up, drinking his beer and smoking a cigarette, and sitting there watching as he's making these guys take turns fucking me. Are you kidding me? I'm serious. Yeah. Now that was probably the one time, like it was absolutely horrendous. You know what I mean? Because not only am I sore and getting fucked, but I'm literally physically bleeding. Right. From you know what I mean? And they're just like, and they're they're they're big, strong black men, so you know they don't fuck lightly.

SPEAKER_03 55:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:18

You know what I mean? And it was just and did they DP you too?

SPEAKER_03 55:21

No, thank God.

SPEAKER_00 55:23

They so they did one after the other, literally taking turns, and they're all sitting there in a line stroking their dicks while they're all watching, and he's just kicked up like he's the king of the castle over there.

SPEAKER_03 55:32

That's a whole degradation thing for him.

SPEAKER_00 55:34

Because I looked at this guy, yeah, like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 55:38

I mean, that is so fucked up. I uh I have no words at this point. That's just so fucked up.

SPEAKER_00 55:44

Yeah, that was that was probably the worst time. And then that same night we left there going home, and he's still drinking and still fucked up, haven't slept in probably a week or two. Oh my god. Yeah, so then we're still arguing. I'm bawling. He's mad at me because I'm crying because of what just happened. So, like, I'm literally trying to stop, snot running out of my nose, like hysterically crying. And he gets so mad he pulls, like yanks the wheel to the car, the point car goes spinning around in circles, and I get hit by a motorcycle. Oh, motorcycle goes flying over my fucking car, dude goes flying this way, and I'm just sitting here, like, I don't know what to do. You know what I mean? And he had me so scared when the cops told them, like, I told them it was my fault, and I just lost control, I wasn't paying attention. And he just sat there and let me take all the blame.

SPEAKER_03 56:32

Well, of course he did. He's a piece of shit.

SPEAKER_00 56:34

I still owe$25,000 to that poor motorcyclist.

SPEAKER_03 56:37

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 56:38

And they suspended my license indefinitely.

SPEAKER_03 56:40

Oh, indefinitely.

SPEAKER_00 56:41

Oh my god, indefinitely.

SPEAKER_03 56:43

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 56:44

Until I pay that$25,000.

SPEAKER_03 56:46

How did you get away from this guy?

SPEAKER_00 56:50

This is a great story. So, like another another abusive night. He's taken me out to the bar, and we got I picked, we were playing pool. So, like, and you know, at bars, there's like one, two, three, whatever, however many, they're right next to each other. Yeah. And the courteous thing to do would be when you know somebody drops their ball, you pick it up and hand it to them. Well, I did that with another tall, beautiful black man, and he didn't appreciate that at all. So he drugged me out of the bar by my fucking hair. Like, people are chasing, people are recording, people are doing anything but fucking helping. You know what I mean? So, and that was like I secretly called my brother. They were tracking my phone at this point because they knew yeah, they were tracking my phone. My ex-husband, the last one, flies up here from out of state to come and you know, get me away from this guy. Because you know, he's tracking my phone, everybody's tracking it. My mom called the cops and had them like follow us finally to his house. So when the cops got there and they asked me, I said, Yeah, I want to leave. Okay, like I couldn't have left by myself, and nobody understands that when they're like, Why don't you just leave? Like, you literally can't. Yeah, he's already not sleeping at all because he's on drugs, you know what I mean? So I literally had no chance.

SPEAKER_04 58:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:08

Left all my shit, so I don't care. Then the police escorted me to my dad's, my mom's brother, my uncle, took me, escorted me to the airport, and a sheriff escorted me to Florida. Flew with me on the plane to Florida to get me away from this guy.

SPEAKER_03 58:25

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 58:26

The sheriff, the sheriff flew with you, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:29

Did but you weren't under arrest or anything, right?

SPEAKER_00 58:31

They just want to make sure I was safe. He's crazy. Yeah, he's fucking insane.

SPEAKER_03 58:35

Tell me you didn't have a kid with this guy.

SPEAKER_00 58:37

No, oh my god, no. That one I 100% would have got rid of. I'm not even gonna lie.

SPEAKER_03 58:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 58:42

I mean, because I want no connection to you.

SPEAKER_03 58:45

Yeah, well, and not both on drugs. I mean, you know what I mean. Like, yeah, into too many.

SPEAKER_00 58:49

Why born a child that's not gonna have a dad? Right.

SPEAKER_03 58:51

That's fucked up. So you leave. Do you ever? I mean, I'm assuming they changed your phone number because that's something. Oh, they took my phone.

SPEAKER_00 58:59

Oh, even better. They took my phone. I did sneak a little bit of drugs onto the plane and made it to Florida. And like after my mom found out I was using that, because she came in, you know, and she flushed it and made me, I had to quit cold turkey. Oh, it was the most worst withdrawals I've ever had in my life. Well, technically the only withdrawals I've ever had in my life. Yeah, but like I was so sick. I was so sick.

SPEAKER_03 59:21

Well, and that sickness class for I mean, yes, cat. You and I have both seen that, right? Yeah, yeah, it's horrible. Bad ruined every vacation I've ever been on for eight years.

SPEAKER_01 59:32

Any important day, period. Like, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, literally, traumatize my child. Yeah, yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_03 59:39

And I was always told he just had nausea or he was, you know, he had a stomach bite. And I felt about that. Yeah, and I fell from it. Okay, so okay, so you never hear from him again, thank God.

SPEAKER_00 59:51

No, he shows up at my mom's in Florida.

SPEAKER_03 59:54

Oh, oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 59:56

No, please tell me your mom shot him. We never seen him. He was texting me, like, I see you, I know what you're wearing, and it was sending me pictures of me and shit. And like, but he never confronted he and he knew better than to come to the fucking house. Like, he knew my mom does not play.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:12

Okay. No, yeah, that would be like me. I wouldn't play either.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:16

Yeah, no, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:18

And shoot him.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:19

And then my dumbass decided to get Uber to go meet him. No. My mom intervened before the fucking Uber even got to the house. Like she knew I was dumb and in love and in love. Yeah, you know, but I was like, he was this man was protecting me, you know what I mean? Like he wouldn't let me talk to anybody else, whatever. That was my fucked up brain. Like, this man is hitting me. It rewires you're protecting, you know what I mean? It totally rewires you completely, and it's so fucked up. And then, yeah, after that, I got done with him. George came to Florida. Oh, whatever. Came to Florida, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:58

And wait, this is the second marriage, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:00

Okay, so we he comes to Florida, and like now that I'm getting clean and he wants to help. And yeah, man really did love me. He really did. We just didn't work out, yeah. But like he came, made sure I was clean, I stayed there, and then we decided to get you know back together or whatever. And this is when we actually get married a year or two later. Okay. After the fact, and like he straightened up, his he stopped drinking, you know, and all that, and everything was good. Things were good for how long? Until we moved back to Ohio.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:32

But how many?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:33

I was around the same people, places, and let things.

unknown 1:01:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:36

How many years were you married then from with him?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:41

That was in I don't know. Okay. We got married in 15, I think. Okay. Not very long.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:50

And this is at this point, like when you when you were going down to Florida and stuff, where were the kids? My mom had them in Florida.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:57

My mom had them for a few months from my jail to this scenario, you know what I mean? Yeah. And then after when I moved back down to Florida, or when I got with sh his dumbass, when I got with him, she immediately took the kids because she knew. You know, and it was like I let her take them because I knew they don't need this, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like when I tell you my daughter has seen me be hit and all of this, it's so toxic.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:24

Oh, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:25

And that's why she already like doesn't take anything from boys, especially anybody else, you know what I mean? And I love that. So like part of me likes that about it, but then I hate that she's even had to see it. But I know that's she that's not what she wants, right? So I love that. Like, I don't have to tell you how shitty men are, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:42

Yeah, you've seen it.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:43

But there's good ones, there's good ones out there.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:45

Yeah. Okay, so he be does did he become toxic again?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:50

No, not really. I mean, it was more like emotional, and I'm this and I'm that, but it wasn't like abusive, it was minimal toxic, but toxic.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:58

Well, you're comparing that's fair, right? You know, abuse is abuse. But it it the question is at what level is it, right? Yeah, it's a sliding scale. So, I mean, he wasn't, you know, making you fuck other guys and beating the shit out of you. No.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:13

So this was minimal to me. Yeah, so bearable.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:15

It was acceptable, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:17

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:18

Okay. So during that time with the guy you got back with and you married, yeah. Were you seeing anybody else at that time? Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:30

No. Okay. I didn't start doing that again until we came back to Ohio. Yeah, I was around. I was going to my AA meetings and I was meeting people there.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:40

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:41

In recovery, and that's really when I found like these fucked up vulnerable, these fucked up vulnerable married men.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:49

Who were like, they're telling their story, so they're also complaining about their wives. So I'm just like, he's not happy, and she's not giving it to him, so I could still fulfill what I wanted. Yeah. You know what I mean? So yeah, he was back to working all the time and we weren't fucking, and I'm just like, here we go again. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:07

It's on repeat, right? I mean, it's the same thing. So how were you working at that point? Did you start working yet? No. No. Okay. So how did that relationship come to an end?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:21

We just weren't, we realized we weren't compatible. You know what I mean? Like we weren't getting along, like the feelings were still there, but they were distant. Okay. And we just knew, like, we both, why are we doing this for the kids? Because that's not okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:34

Yeah. So you decide to separate. Yeah. And then are you dating anybody else?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:40

I mean, there's a few like monthly relationships here and there, but nothing right influential to my story. You know what I mean? Yeah. Okay. So then when did you get a job? I got a job at Taco Bell, I think, because that's all I could find is my lovely record. So in this case. And that's how she met. And that's how I met Curtis. Right. Okay. Okay. I knew you met him. I knew you met well at the drive-thru. Yeah. I had two jobs at that point. Like I was working during the day while the kids were at school. And then I was working late night while the kids were asleep.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:14

And it was just becoming exhausted, you know, and then he we just instantly connected. Like I told you the story, he called, left his phone number, and then I immediately called because we just had this like attraction to each other.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:28

And then the next day, he had actually came in to my other job. I worked at this cute little ice cream shop, like in town, local. And he came in. And as soon as he walked at the doors, I was just so starstruck. He was so big because he had this teeny little car with the low ride seat. So he was like, I couldn't see. Yeah. And he was so big and so beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:50

Yeah, he's a handsome man. His eyes are so big.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:53

Yeah. Yeah. Did and then you guys were together from that point forward, right? I went over to his house that night. Night and then like I stayed. Well, obviously, I went home because the kids, but like, lit any chance I could go, I was there.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:08

And then I mean I I never left, you know what I mean? Yeah. And were you you you were out on your own at that point, right? Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:15

Who was watching the kids?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:17

They were with their dad. Oh, okay. I did it. Yeah. So it was like they were there, whatever. They would stay the night with my mom here and there because that's grandma, and she had them for so long, you know. Right, yeah. Why do I why do I feel like there's a fourth child? Is there a chance? Oh, there's the fourth child. Oh, okay. I'm like, am I missing something here? I think I missed that story, but it was just like a one-night stand kind of thing. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:41

So it wasn't even a relationship.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:42

No, no.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:44

Does that person know they have a child? Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:46

Oh, okay. We can go back to that when I got pregnant because this is a another I picked the wrong man. I just don't get it. Well, okay, it was a one-night stand. You weren't planning on getting pregnant. That's fair. Okay. But we ended up, you know, the one night stand happened a few months later. I told him, you know, hey, I was pregnant. So then, like, we tried this lovely relationship because I was in between husbands at this point.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:10

And we tried this relationship, blah, blah, blah. And he was a truck driver and, you know, was only home on the weekends. So I was like, okay, that's fine. You know, whatever. He lived with my friend. So I moved in with her and her little babies. Oh, okay. So, and then I get this job at Wendy's with her because she was manager at Wendy's. So she's like, hey, we have an opening, whatever, whatever. Yeah. And so I'm bonding, you know, with all these women because that's kind of what I do. I flock with girls. You know, that's kind of I'm a girl's girl. So whatever. And he comes in and, you know, my first day of work. And I was like, I don't, how did you know? She must have told him, whatever. So he comes in with flowers and a teddy bear and whatever and gives it to another girl before he sees me. Oh. I was working with his wife. Oh my god. And when did you find out you were pregnant? Oh, I don't I don't know. But I told him months later, probably three or four. Like I had a little belly showing. But yeah, and I come out from the back and he's hugging and kissing on this girl, and I'm just like and that was his wife? Yeah, he had a wife and four kids in Kentucky. So when he was leaving Ohio as a truck driver, he was going home to his family.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:24

So who was the girl that he gave the flowers and teddy bear to? His wife.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:29

She worked Yeah, she was training uh this store. Got it. I'm like, okay, I thought they were in Kentucky. Yeah, because she knew she knew my friend who was the manager. Okay. So she was being like a regional manager, whatever. So she was flocking around with all the corporate people. Gotcha. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:45

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:46

Did she know about you?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:48

No. Like we didn't know. We were shocked. I mean, like, did she eventually find out about you?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:53

We talked. I talked to them that day.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:55

Oh, I was like, I didn't talk to him.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:57

I waited and talked to her. I was like, what the fuck? But it was Friday evening. So he's in Ohio working, staying with me. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. So I have a lovely, lovely story with meeting men.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:12

So are they still married? Oh god, no.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:15

No, no, no, no, no. Okay. Like he still denies my son to this day. And I was like, you guys look identical. He looks just like, and she was pregnant. Oh my god. Our kids are three months apart. Oh my God. Isn't that crazy? Oh my god. Did you and her stay in touch? Oh no. She hates me for she blames me for whatever the fuck they got going on. I was like, I didn't know. Yeah. Like, I don't fuck with a happy house. You know what I mean? And they were, he's bringing her flowers and shit, and they were so lovey dovey. Like that was clearly good. Yeah. So no.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:44

Oh my god. Yeah. Well, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:46

I'm so glad I got a good man now.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:48

Yeah. I am too. But and here's what I'll tell you be happy that he doesn't claim his child. Yeah. Because look at the other mess you got into. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:56

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:57

With that. So, oh, kid grief. Okay, let's talk about how you got to how you started being, you know, like what made you decide? Did you just start an OnlyFans? Like what was your first step there?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:10

Well, it was, you know, COVID hit, all that fun stuff. Oh, yeah. I've been with Curtis two years now at this point. And we were already filming us for us because like we like watching ourselves. Right. You know, because again, like I can learn what I like, what I don't like, what looks good, what doesn't look good. Do I need a different angle? All of this stuff I can learn. So we were already filming, and one of my friends started OnlyFans, and like she was making money and she liked doing it. And like there was a lot, it was already out at this point, you know, for a few years. Yeah. So I'm seeing how it's working. And like the one girl, she's a lawyer, so she doesn't show her face. I was like, Oh, I can do that. Yeah, she can hide it. I can hide it.

unknown 1:10:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:47

So I was like, okay, whatever. Cause I was worried about it. And Curtis was okay with it? This was his idea. Oh, okay. Yeah. He's like, Well, do you see like all of this going around? Like, why don't you check it out?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:55

Okay, wait a minute. I'm gonna back up for one second. Has Curtis ever been married or have children? No. Neither one?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:02

Girl, how in that? He's almost 98% sure there's a baby somewhere. Yeah, but she wants absolutely nothing to do with him.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:12

So we think so. She's beautiful, blonde little girl, but he wants doesn't.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:18

At this point, you know, you have your pretend little family over there. But if she ever wants to know, yes, absolutely. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:25

Well, yeah, he's a good man, of course. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:27

I know. Isn't that weird as much as he fucks people? How is he not?

SPEAKER_03 1:11:31

He's very No, he's a good man. It's Curtis's idea. Yep. And so what's your first thing that you you open an OnlyFans account? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:41

And it started, it initially started with like the smoking topless because like I get people on Instagram, like before I was advertising any of this, I was always posting like smoking videos and stuff because it was a fetish.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:53

So I started all of that, and then they were like requesting stuff and requesting stuff and wanted to.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:58

On Instagram? Yeah. And these were private stories or whatever, like they would DM you or whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:03

They reply to my story, like, Well, why don't you, you know, remove those emojis or whatever?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:07

Ah.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:08

So I started doing those, and then they got little like bikini top. They liked the little because I have big areolas. So they like the tiny little straps so they can still see it but not see it. Yeah. And it was just all these like weird little quirks. Yeah. You know, and then I started watching like 90s smoking fetish porn because that is smoking fetish now is nothing compared to what it was back then. Really? It was way better back then. Like the girls now are doing it for the camera. These bitches liked smoking, they inhale their cigarette. They don't hold it like this. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's a two-finger hold, it's how you hold a fucking cigarette. Yeah. It drives me crazy. This. But yeah, so I started watching that, and then I was like, this is they're making this like seductive and sexy. And I was like, let me try this. And I still see because I have all of my old stuff still on OnlyFans. Like, I don't care. Good. And if you go back and watch, it is almost embarrassing. No, it's and people loved it, but I'm over here like, oh, this is gross. It's terrible. Like, and then I wasn't smoking cigarettes at this point. So Curtis got me these like little black, almost like cigar things. The cigarellos or whatever they call them. So I was smoking those and it was good and all that, just for the videos and stuff. But like then Curtis liked it. And that's when he told me, like, hey, I have a smoking fetish. And I'm like, well, so do I. So then I started smoking regular cigarettes during sex and stuff. And then it's just all the time now. What creates that fetish?

SPEAKER_03 1:13:32

Do you know?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:33

I honestly don't know. It's the whole process for me. Like, I like watching. I would rather watch you lay there and rub your pussy and smoke a cigarette than I would rather watch you get fucked or give a blowjob smoking a cigarette. It's just like dirty. It's just so dirty.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:48

Well, and now it's, you know, it's from okay. And you start making money on Instagram and OnlyFans. I mean, you people will send you money off, you know, yeah. From Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:59

Yeah. And I started, you know, I started OnlyFans and I was like, I wasn't putting too much work into it. I was just like posting here and there. Like I wasn't replying to comments. I wasn't opening messages. I wasn't doing it all that because it was just like, I'm just posting for you to watch. Almost like a porn hub kind of thing. Yeah. So, and then somebody messaged me and was like, you should really start, you know, and I'm not trying to sound whatever. He was very polite. He was like, Why don't you start, you know, replying to messages and sending out messages and have pay-per-view videos and all that stuff. And I was like, That's a lot. I don't want to do, I was working full time at this point. I was like, I don't want to do all of that.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:29

But then the more requests I got, the more I was like, I'm gonna just do this full time. Yeah. I mean, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 1:14:35

Why not? I mean, seriously, why not?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:38

I bet you were making more money doing that than you were at your fast food job.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:43

Yeah, exactly. And that's exactly how it was. But and as it got like more on, I started getting requests for like video calls and custom videos. So then my OnlyFans was getting neglected. My lives, I was going live because I was so busy doing this. And it was like talking to the people. I'm so glad I lost my Snapchat, or I probably wouldn't have even thought of this. But the amount of time I take talking to these people, I could be made three or four videos by that point. So now I finally I don't do video calls anymore. I will do a custom video request, but the the price is gonna go up.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:20

Yeah. Um can you do that on cameo or not? What's that?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:24

It's a no, I don't think you can do nudes, but it's definitely worth looking into. Okay. Okay. I will definitely look into that.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:31

People can they'll pay you for a message, you know, like a video. Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:36

And and I mean you can set the price for whatever you want.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:40

Okay, I'll definitely look into that. But like it was just the whole process of like why did you lose your Snapchat?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:46

Do you know?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:47

They just keep banning me. I keep getting reported or whatever it is, you know. And it was just it was just getting so overwhelming, like starting a new one, starting a new one, starting new one. And then I have to do this fucking spiel to each and every person all over again. And then they want me to live verify, which I understand. Yeah. And then there's the people trying to scam. And it was just like, I was spending eight hours a day, maybe more, just talking before you're even buying. Yeah. My home life was getting neglected because of it. And I'm like, I'm not doing this. This isn't fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:18

Like, I'd rather I don't want to fucking talk to all of you men. I would be dating if I wanted to do that. Right. So I just want to like have fun and be myself, you know, and just fuck myself. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 1:16:28

Yeah. Where are the kids when you're like uh I mean I have my own little like studio room. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:34

So like they don't know what's in it, they've never been in it. Oh anything like that. It's locked.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:38

Oh, it is.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:39

So they they know what I do now, unfortunately, but they've never seen any aspect of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:45

I have them blocked on all my social medias, all of that stuff.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:50

Okay, I'm gonna give you some bad news.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:52

Do they know your name? Like I don't even think so.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:56

Okay, good. Oh, yeah. Because they can definitely go, I mean, queerly. Yeah, that's fair. And and you know, stuff shows up on Pornhub. Yeah, I mean, it's all right there. It just comes.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:05

I popped up an ad on Curtis' phone the other day when I thought was pretty cool. Oh, that's it. I was like, that's cool. I love that. That is very cool.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:12

And where are you at now with your social media and you know, from a I don't want to ask exact numbers financially, but are you still making good money on it?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:22

Well, I've been paused now just because of surgery and stuff. Right. But yeah, it it it pays the bills basically. Good. Like Curtis wouldn't have to work, but we would be broke, basically. So it's enough, but it's not as much as I would like for the amount of stuff I do. So I just gotta get now that I've stopped losing my social medias, yeah, I can promote and promote and promote again. You know what I mean? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:45

But I think we need to have a meeting with you and Ellie so she can teach me her way. Yeah. Yeah. She's very positive about that, except when people use her kind of thing, which is really bad. So fucked up. Yeah. How long you've been doing it since 2022. Is that was that right? I believe so.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:03

It's been a fucking long time.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:04

Four years.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:05

Yeah. Okay. And have you ever had a bad experience with it? Honestly, no, outside people of like telling me where I work and live at, but nothing like nobody charge backs, anything like that. People are nice, they either like it or they don't. Like, I'm not for everybody. Yeah. I do post non-smoking stuff. So if that's what you're into, I'll sell you a file, you know, whatever. Yeah. But now that I'm almost healed, I'm gonna venture out into more non-smoking stuff. Yeah. I mean, yeah, do you really?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:39

I mean, do you like smoking personally? You do. Yeah. But you know, like, and you know this because you just had surgery, like it you will not heal nearly as fast as smoking. I had how in the hell did you go cold turkey?

SPEAKER_00 1:18:51

I wanted the surgery so bad.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:53

Yeah, I guess smoking's a lot easier than terrible.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:56

I mean, I quit drugs cold turkey. So if I can, I'm pretty good at quitting cold.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:01

That's exactly where I went as soon as I asked that question. Clearly, this is not as hard, but it might be. We don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:07

It might be. I mean, it was, it was, I was very irritable.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:12

Yeah. Well, and not happening. Yeah, it definitely happens. So remember at the beginning of this where we said that the whole femme dom thing or whatever in the in the foot stuff, but you said you didn't really do that?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:26

No, I don't really do feet. That's just not I will if requested, but like I just I just how do you I don't understand how I'm gonna come to that? You know what I mean? And I'm here to make you come. I don't want, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 1:19:39

It's about the heels, right? Because the spiky heels, you grind it into that and that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:45

I do get, I do show my heels a lot. Yeah, I take pride in my shoes.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:48

Yeah, and and you're just I mean, because the femdom thing, I mean, that's what they're looking for to find you because you're a dominatrix in that regard. Do you treat them? Do you talk to them bad?

unknown 1:19:58

I know.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:59

Because that's what they want.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:00

I do want consent. I'm not here to hurt your fucking feelings, you know. Like I do want to respect all boundaries.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:07

Yeah, I get that.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:09

Yeah, but like and I'm not a mean fucking person, so unless you want me to, I'm not going to. Unless you treat me shitty. You know what I mean? That's so funny.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:18

Kat, are you still there? She may have fallen asleep on this.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:22

I I am on a lot of drugs today. I know. I know you are.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:24

You're she's so quiet if you guys noticed. It is, it is weird. Yeah, it's almost like she's not here, but everyone she pops, she pops in, it wasn't. I'm here.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:31

I'm listening.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:33

Okay, so where do you make your most money? On which site?

SPEAKER_00 1:20:37

Probably OnlyFans. Okay. Clips for sale when I'm really posting, but I've just been clips for sale? Yeah. I don't think I've ever heard of that. It's just like mini vids, any other thing where you post individual videos for sale. Okay. Okay. Like I made a fansly, I made a loyal fans, but I haven't, I just haven't wanted the whole posting process, it is so fucking long.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:59

It's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:00

I don't have the attention span to do that. And my shit's been fucking up. I go to upload it, it'll get almost done, and it'll fucking cancel. And I'm like, okay, I'm done here. Yeah. I'm done here. Because I post full of those.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:13

Yeah, you need one of those sites. It's like a social media manager where you can like just upload it there and it pushes it out to all of them.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:20

Oh, that's a thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:22

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:23

I need help, lady.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:24

Anything else we need to cover? Because I really did want to know your backstory, and I'm really glad you shared it.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:30

It's a lot, but again, I've never talked about it ever to anybody publicly.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:35

So it's like, oh, I'm so honored. Seriously, like we're honored for that.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:39

Yeah, I'm truly. Well, thank you. Or I mean, or at all. Nobody, nobody knows anything. The whole story. Yeah. And it's that's why I was kind of like all over the fucking place because it's never I've never sat down and said it. I should have prepared for this, but it's not at all.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:52

I actually, you know what?

SPEAKER_00 1:21:53

I love the discussion much better. But everything's been pretty, pretty good since then. I've learned, you know, not to I don't take shit from men anymore. That was the best part about me getting clean and finding a gentle giant, as you would if we'll call him, like showed me I don't deserve to be treated like that. Right. And like, if we're gonna get more into this story of us, like we weren't always like this, you know. Like he punched walls in the holes and got in my face and was yelling. Oh, he did one time in the beginning of our relationship. I was telling her on the way here, he just got out of a five-year abusive relationship. Like, she was coming to get her stuff the first night I was there. That's how soon this happened.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:39

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:39

And like she would punch herself and show her, throw herself down the stairs. So that's what he was dealing with. And you know, Curtis is like that, but he didn't know my trauma. So, like the moment he like yelled and he punched right, right by my fucking head in the wall right here. And he's gonna get so mad at me for telling anybody this. He's never gonna listen to it. That's fair. But it was the one time what was he mad about? I wouldn't stop talking because like I'm used to arguing, so I have to have the last word of everything, and he's a very much like stop and walk away, and I wouldn't let him. So, like the moment he punched that wall, I like cowered like a fucking baby, and like I scooted all the way back. Yeah, I was in between the wall and the toilet. That's how terrified of this man I was. Yeah, and like he instantly started bawling, had no idea like what the fuck, because he's used to her, you know, hitting herself and shit. And I was like, and he's never raised his voice to me since then.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:32

Wow, he is very calm and quiet. Yeah, I can't even imagine him losing his temper.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:37

Oh my god, he's way, way calmer now. I could never, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:42

And you guys have been together seven years or something. Yeah, almost. I mean, that's longer than any relationship you've had, right? Yeah, and then some okay. I'm just checking.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:50

Yeah, so it's like, so I was just waiting for like when is this gonna fall apart? Like, what is he gonna do wrong? And we've had our little things. Everybody has that, you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Like, and then like in the beginning, he was like talking to other girls and not like physically seeing them, but like texting and Snapchat, and like we've had this conversation, like I don't yeah don't do me like that, you know what I've been through? And he's he doesn't okay, you know, like he we express our feelings and like we talk and communicate, and this is what I don't like. Okay, I'll stop doing it. Is there anything I can do to be better? Like we literally physically communicate, and it's so nice, and that and that's exactly the way you have to do it, exactly. And then I used to be fucking fat, you know what I mean? Because I wasn't allowed to do anything or go any, so I got depressed. I'd sit at home and eat, and I got up to 202 pounds.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:38

So you went from being drug addict skinny skinny to 202 pounds.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:45

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:45

And now you've lost a hundred pounds but gained muscle back. You look very healthy.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:50

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:51

Yeah, you look amazing. You do look amazing. And you and for people that don't know, she recently had surgery to correct a previous surgery, and she's smoking hot. Her little her little belly button is so cute. Um Kat, do you have any other questions? I don't. No. Mike, I feel like I love the way we just you just talked. You let it come out. I did, I did do a lot of talking, didn't I? And that's the perfect way for this to happen. Um I think it was so honest and powerful. And yeah, I love the rawness. And and I will tell you, we had the same thing with Ellie. And for the 72% men who listen to this podcast, I had a lot of comments about her. You know, it's like, you know, God, I I don't want my daughter to go through that, that kind of thing, you know?

SPEAKER_00 1:25:41

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:42

So thank you for sharing that with us. Thank you for having me. Oh, of course. Now we're gonna go to dinner. Sorry, Kat. We're going for Indian food.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:50

Oh, where are you going?

SPEAKER_03 1:25:52

We're going to for Indian food.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:54

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:55

I'm good. So thank you, Candy and Kat for this amazing, honest, powerful conversation. And Candy, I hope you always stay on that straight and narrow now. I mean, you know your worth now. Yeah, definitely. Like I'm so and if you ever doubt it, you call one of us. I mean, we've got our group text. Yeah, you know. I just want to make sure you know you have support. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:18

Oh, I definitely, I definitely do. Like, I love you guys more anything. You know what I mean? Between you guys and Curtis are like the only ones local.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:24

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 1:26:25

I just met her, so it's nice. Cool. Okay, and you can find Candy's sites on her website at the T-H-E-E, Candy, K-A-N-D-Y, Rain, R E I G N dot com. And you can contact her on any of the sites that are there, right? And this is a reminder to drop, give us feedback, story, ideas, whatever, to our email info at the vixenchronicles.com. That's a VXN. And follow us on iHeart, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts. Okay, say goodbye, girls. It was a it was a great night, Candy. We we need some food now.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:08

Yeah, I'm starving. Well, have fun, ladies. We will bye, Kat. Goodbye.